thoughts and ramblings

a little insight into the world of the developing schizophrenic...

Monday, October 25, 2004

october 25,2k4

haven't written in a while...nothing new i guess. every time my life is great i tend to not want to write. i find that it is too much to work to actually type words on the screen. maybe i feel the need now because my girlfriend isn't online, and i need something to fill my time while i can't talk to her. one does things for many reasons, trying to find them is the hard part, and it is even harder to explain them.
i guess i can start with my happiness that in two days, the 27th, my girlfriend and i will have been going out for a year. it doesn't seem like that much time has elapsed, it feels like only yesterday she gave me a ride home from AD practice on the night that i was in tears over what my ex- had done at the time. i never knew it would develop into something like this. each and every day i thank whatever divine force is up above us for making me the luckiest man alive. every day i wake up i know i get to see the smile of the face that can make me happier than anyone ever will. she is my one true love, and i knew a long time ago that i wanted to spend my life with her. i know now that no matter what happens, we'll be together. we've been through more together than anyone should have to. its made us stronger. its created a bond and a love between us that will never be broken. i am so lucky to have such love. it has made my life so much better. i can't wait until the day that we can spend our lives together.
i'm not sure what else there is in my life. my mom is unemployed, we're on welfare. its making my life harder. another obsticle that i have to overcome, just another twist in the neverending switchback that is my life. i guess it will make me stronger, and i'll have a greater appreciation for living frugal. i just wish it never had to happen. i had a talk with a teacher that i know fairly well, and she said that times are getting harder, and that she has had to counsel a lot of people. these people had great homes, but real problems in their heads. they were having a lot of trouble and she was worried about drug use. and i thought back. that was me. the problems at home weren't as bad as i thought, but i made them that way. i dunno. my life has been weird. i've had to deal with a lot, overcome myself. i've made it. i wish i could help others do the same. who knows.
i guess in this special time for me, i want to have everyone find one person they love and care about. tell that person how much they mean and how special and important they are to you. tell them honestly, truly, and sincerely. it could mean the world to them.


posted by quinn  # 8:59 PM


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