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thoughts and ramblings

a little insight into the world of the developing schizophrenic...

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

september 21,2k4

well...another few weeks has come and gone. nothing much has changed. home life isn't really life, just another place to be and be reprimanded. school is school. i go, i learn, i socialize. the one positive is the socialization. i get to see my girlfriend, and that always brightens my day. i guess that she is the one holding me together through all of the shit that happens in my life. thats normal i suppose. i find more comfort and love in her family than i do in mine. i go there and feel like i am part of something. that all gets torn down when i have to come home. i get yelled at, accused of having an "attitude", belittled, not listened to, and argued with all before i have time to put my keys down. it taints and stains the walls. i can feel it, like a living breathing organism. it resides in the walls and is always looking over your shoulder, looking for the next time to attack you. it never leaves you alone. welcome home.

q.

posted by quinn  # 8:11 PM

Sunday, September 05, 2004

september 5, 2k4

a weekend full of excitement and promise, kinda turned out underwhelming. i guess i say this because we had our soccer tourney, and i was supposed to play four games. i only managed to play one. i was pumped to play sedona, our first opponent. we lost 2-1. a loss, but we outplayed them and they just managed to put one in under my fingertips. i was peturbed. i'm better than that, and i know it. i wanted revenge, a chance to prove myself. i was going to get that later that day, we played snowflake. the game looked promising, until about 7 minutes in. i was reaching for a ball, and a player from snowflake came charging in. i wrapped up the ball, but succeeded in taking a shin to the left temple. it rattled me around and gave me a mild concussion. i was out for the game, as i was in the hospital getting checked out. our team lost 2-1 again. the next day, i was checked out and i was ok to play. i wanted to play. my coach didn't want to play me. our team lost 7-1. i'm not saying i could have prevented a loss, but it wouldn't have been as bad. and when you have a good keeper, every stop made transfers energy to your team. our team didn't have that. everyone was dead, and they wanted me out there. it wasn't happening. finally, we didn't play our last game. it was canceled. we didn't have enough refs. even though there were no four o' clock games. our vice principal is a dick. what can i say.
other than that, my weekend was great. after my morning games, i could stay with my girlfriend. we went out to lunch and hung out the entire day, until my afternoon game. i loved it. it felt like we were older, when we were married. and we could spend the entire day together. she even waited two hours for me in the emergency room until i was cleared. everything she does, it just makes me smile. i can't wait until we are married, and can spend the entire night in each others arms. that would mean so much to me.

anyhoo, its been a long weekend, and i've still got a little headache. i think i hear a few excedrin and a mountain dew calling my name. maybe a tom clancey novel if i don't fall asleep first.

q.

posted by quinn  # 8:00 PM

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